How to write a query letter that doesn’t sound desperate
Query letters walk a tightrope. Too humble and you undersell the work. Too bold and you risk sounding like you’ve written the next Ulysses.
The trick is to find a voice that reflects your book’s tone while presenting yourself as a professional, not a hopeful.
Here’s one way that has worked for me when previously querying:
Start with your hook. One to two sentences that sum up your novel’s central premise. Think clarity, not cleverness. For example: When an introverted archivist inherits her grandmother’s decaying estate, she uncovers letters that may link her family to a lost piece of literary history.
Move into a short pitch. A paragraph or two describing what your book is about, who it follows, and what’s at stake. Avoid vague phrasing like “a journey of self-discovery.” Be specific. Say what the character wants, what’s in the way, and why it matters.
Include a relevant bio. Mention if you’ve been published, have an MA, or have relevant life experience. But don’t panic if you haven’t. “This is my debut novel. I work in education and live in Yorkshire,” is fine.
Match tone to content. If your book is comic or satirical, you can be light. If it’s dark literary fiction, aim for restraint. Either way, avoid gimmicks or self-deprecating humour.
Keep it under one page. Aim for 300–400 words. Agents read dozens daily. A crisp letter shows you respect their time.
Common mistakes to avoid
Don’t summarise the whole plot. Just give a taste.
Don’t compare yourself to famous authors unless it’s stylistic (“in the tradition of...” is better than “I am the next…”).
Don’t apologise for being unpublished.
Don’t overexplain how hard you worked, or how much you love books.
Don’t use shouty fonts, italics everywhere, or clip art (yes, it happens).
A good query letter shows not just what your book is, but that you understand how the industry works. Be clear. Be kind to yourself. And remember, the query isn’t the novel — it’s the door opener.
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