Why does every bestseller sound the same? A mini manifesto against beige prose

Pick up any recent bestseller and you’ll notice it. The prose is clean. Efficient. Emotionally calibrated within an inch of its life. And, yet, somehow, utterly indistinct.

This is beige prose, smooth, flavourless, and engineered for mass readability. It’s not bad writing, exactly. In fact, that’s the problem. It’s technically correct, but soulfully inert. A style that’s been edited within an inch of meaning. Every sentence feels like it’s been test-marketed, stripped of friction, and dunked in lukewarm relatability.